Let me share my perspective on how positively diabolical I believe the year has been so far. I might not be the keenest observer, but I think the year gave its best shot.

 And action!

If Wonderland were less fictitious, this wonderful land of melanin-infused people would contribute a third of its marvels, free of charge, of course. The socio-political gists, skits, and carnivals would undoubtedly deliver a groundbreaking spectacle, entertaining audiences for 365 days with their breathtaking cliffhangers, plot twists, and abundant suspense.

Now, to begin with, in a land not so far away, nestled between Nigeria and CAR, sits a freshly welcomed and endorsed Mr President, standing at a considerable height, with plenty of melanin, and an expected lifespan of 92 and counting. Africa deserves a standing ovation for its talent in creating wise sayings. With the older and wiser leading the younger generations, we won't speculate on faults, because we are seeing the bigger picture, of course. ¨Pheeww¨.

Then, let’s get started!

To the racially perplexing yet appealing island in the Indian Ocean. Sorry, I used to think they were part of us until I read more extensively, only to realise their racial status isn’t labelled—duh; but if you asked me, I love being part of this melanin chaos. Aside from that, examining the plot in Malagasy, one would learn never to judge a book by its cover. Carrying a box office name and a stunning location in the ocean may seem serene, but that view was shattered the moment I started paying closer attention to the news.

It's remarkable how the citizens of the Pearl of Africa might demonstrate in a carnival and, by the end of the day, return home with red eyes from all the exposure, while others spend days, months, or even years in confinement after performing in an unapproved skit on the streets. Bad setting, yes.

But with this island, oh, don’t judge a book by its cover; a sequence of events from late September to early October was enough to oust an illegitimately legitimate Mr President—ouch.

I don’t mean that the residents of the Pearl should take a leaf out of their book; I just think… It’s really wonderful. But even more wonderful is the ongoing chain of legitimising illegitimacy—and that’s what keeps the audience hooked, eagerly awaiting more episodes, right? Hehe.

But hey, they’re not the only masters of plot twists. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the land of the Bantu Arabs—round of applause. These are the actors of the year, in my honest opinion, probably because they are closer to home, and we are amazed. 

You see, it’s not every day that Africans unanimously put aside their immense differences and reinstate a Mrs President with a near-perfect score, only 2% shy of perfection. But, of course, remember—I told you—we’re not short of wonders, and this is considered seriously mind-blowing. I mean, these folks really managed to find common ground in a female leader. Feminism, oh yeah!… Pheww. 

Again, tilt the camera slightly north—yes, right there—it’s Uganda. Now, many of you might not know, but everything here is done for God and country. For that reason, we’d need more sheets to note it all down, but from what I’ve keenly observed—and judging by how entertained I’ve been this year—the skits, plot twists, and cliffhangers are more exhilarating than you’ll ever witness. The box office figures will be staggering, and who knows, Uganda might produce half or even a third of the wonders—just saying.

But still, we’re the proud nation that raised the newly elected New York City mayor. Hooray! Nothing can be more uplifting than Uganda to the world! So, the rest can step back with their negativity. Besides, I won't conclude just yet—it's political naivety, and we’re still on set… let me tell you, I'm not finished yet…